Originally, we didn't think Hollywood sucked. But as we've come to know the 'wonderful' people in the business we've become quite disgusted by a lot of them. We've noticed that other businesses that are often as risky and stressful do not produce as many truly sick individuals as Hollywood does. Probably the fame aspect is what draws so many lunatics in the first place (ourselves included) but why they become such total self-consumed assholes is still a mystery. We've watched friends become successful and then take on holier than though attitudes that are truly meglomaniacal!! It's pretty amazing.

We were told this Hollywood axiom once a long time ago by someone and only recently fully understood how true it is. "It is not enough to succeed is Hollywood, your friends must also fail." Scary, eh?


1. Script Readers and "Creative V.P.s"
who were once literature majors at Ivy League schools (the male versions are bad, but the female ones are even worse from their totally sick superiority complexes). These people are so many millions of miles removed from what an audience wants that it isn't even funny. They want to do adpaptions of Henry James novels (the most boring, tedious writer - ever). They wouldn't know what an audience wanted if you clubbed them over the head.

2. Festivals. Over time we have learned that festivals are just showcases for the most horrible boring films ever concieved of. They are run by small cliques of arrogant, urban filmmakers. These people are clueless as to what business they are in. They think they are shapers of society (see next paragraph). They forget that they are supposed to entertain people. And because of this their films die at the box-office. Unfortunately distributors are often fooled by the festival scam, and end up buying films that lose them wads of cash! We actually feel bad for the poor distributors!

3. Filmmakers who are trying to 'educate the audience.' This is so arrogant it is unbelievable. This takes for granted that the filmmaker is wiser than their audience. These filmmakers destroy stories because they don't allow what would actually happen - to happen. Instead they jam in some politically 'educating' story elements that have nothing to do with reality (or human nature). Then, since the story is now totally unreal, the whole film becomes completely unbelievable.

4. The Film Industry as a Business. No other business is as mismanaged and fucked up. Unfortunately this is just a continuous cycle that happened years ago. It is run by vindictive people because once you enter this sick arena, everyone screws you, then when you become successful you decide you have to screw everyone who screwed you. And so the cycle continues!

5. Producers (except Holly Faison). There are alot of producers out there who ruin the film business. They sleaze money and screw investors so that in the end, no one wants to invest in a movie. We had to work ridiculously hard to get our money because of these bastards. And WE WILL return a profit because anyone who invests in our films DESERVES to get their money back!!! Not many producers or film people in general feel this way, which is why investors are so turned off by Hollywood.

6. Stars (except our stars). Face it, the star thing is out of control. Recently, we've heard distributors say you need someone famous to sell the film. Well we agree that someone like Harrison Ford may sell a film. But some TV actor or mid-level actor will mean NOTHING to the audience. So why waste the budget of your film paying for someone that will not make the film ANY better and also will not return the distributor any money? Because entertainment business people are scared. They have no idea what people want to see (see item number 2 above) so the only thing they can latch on to is a that someone famous is in the movie. Actually Lucas and Spielberg proved this wrong by making their mega-blockbusters without anyone that an audience would even know about.